


Hum Hallelujah, Just Off The Key Of Reason

by LadyLokiLaufeyson



Category: Cobra Starship, Fall Out Boy
Genre: Abusive Relationships, Domestic Violence, Dubious Consent, M/M, Mildly Dubious Consent, Van Days
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-04-10
Updated: 2014-07-12
Packaged: 2018-01-18 21:35:42
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 6
Words: 5,624
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1443739
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LadyLokiLaufeyson/pseuds/LadyLokiLaufeyson
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Pete remembers meeting Andy, the vegan straightedge kid with bright red hair, when he was 16.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. It's True Romance Is Dead, I Shot It In The Chest Then In The Head

**Author's Note:**

> This fanfic originally started out as me just trying to write Pete/Andy smut and it turned into something with an actual plot, so.

Pete liked kissing, girls, or dudes, it didn’t matter, either way, it was awesome.

He remembers meeting Andy, the vegan straightedge kid with bright red hair, when he was 16.

He remembers having sleepovers with him in the basement, or in his room. He remembers kissing Andy, hot and passionately, during these sleepovers. 

He remembers those dark, hot summer nights when Andy would slip a finger or two or three between Pete’s ass cheeks and finger fuck him until he nearly cried.

He remembers how as they grew, both physically, and as people, Andy got tougher. More demanding.

He remembers when Andy convinced him to let him fuck him.

Pete screamed.

He screamed as Andy fucked in and out of his ass (that he was pretty sure was bleeding) on the floor of the van.

He was in pain. Pain, pain, pain.

But he was totally hard.

Andy wouldn’t let Pete cum until he said so, and that was the worst part.

Andy was evil like that, he’d work his fingers in and out of him for what seemed like ages, and he’d keep Pete right on the edge, so so close; but Pete wasn’t allowed to cum until Andy said he could.

Otherwise Andy would hit him, and for such a little guy, he really could pack a punch. 

Sometimes Andy would hit him when he felt like Pete was misbehaving, or if he did something wrong in Andy’s eyes, or if they were having some sort of disagreement. 

Other times Andy would hit him just because, and those were the hits that hurt Pete the most, more emotionally than anything else. 

So Pete just kept going through with it. Kept letting Andy fuck him, because he liked the way it felt. He liked it. He knew he shouldn’t like the way it hurt as Andy bent him over and fucked him raw and came in his ass.

Sometimes he didn’t like it. Sometimes he’d let his mind go to other places, imagine it was _him_ doing the fucking. Fucking someone like their new cute, young, lead singer Patrick.

Patrick was a shy little kid with strawberry blonde/gingery hair and an amazing vocal range, yes, but Pete just wanted to fuck that delicious mouth; choke him with his dick, like Andy had done to him so many times before.

Patrick was right around the same age that Pete was when he met Andy, so Pete knew how uncomfortable in his body he probably was, how self conscious he probably was, how he’d be looking to please.  
The age gap between Pete and Patrick was bigger than the gap between himself and Andy. Sometimes Pete would get angry at himself for letting the younger man dominate him and control him the way he did, and still have him coming back for more at the end of the day. 

“Hey Rickster, c’mere,” Pete called, motioning for Patrick to come towards him. They had just finished a particularly humid show and were drenched in sweat, but that didn’t stop Pete from draping an arm around Patrick’s shoulders when he came close enough, and pulling him close to his side. 

“I got something to show you outside,” Pete whispered into Patrick’s hair

“Oh?” Patrick said, with an innocent, interested tinge to his voice

“Yep,” Pete said, leading Patrick out through the venue’s back door, and into the alley

“Uhh,” Patrick said, confused, while turning to look at Pete “What -” 

Patrick was cut off by Pete’s mouth smashing against his, hot and urgent. Patrick let out a surprised yelp and attempted to shove Pete off him, but Pete wrapped an arm around his waist, and another around the back of his neck and held him firmly in place. 

When Patrick refused to open his mouth, to kiss back, Pete let go of him abruptly and shoved him backwards 

“Ow!” Patrick cried as he landed straight on his ass “That fucking hurt! What the fuck Pete?!” 

“Get on up on your knees,” was all Pete said, motioning with his hands

“What?” Patrick asked, still getting over the shock of being kissed and then shoved so forcefully.

“I said” Pete growled, grabbing Patrick by the shirt and manhandling him until he was kneeling in front of Pete “ _on your knees_ ,”

“ _What_ ,” Patrick said again, sounding breathless and a little disbelieving 

“You’re gonna suck my dick and let me cum down your throat, that’s what,” Pete said as he began to unbuckle his belt.

Patrick’s eyes grew wide and he shook his head viciously, struggling to find words “What….Pete...I...why…” 

“Shh, shh,” Pete said as he slid Patrick’s glasses off his face and brushed away the strands of hair that fell into Patrick’s face. “Such a pretty face…” 

“You can have these back when we’re done,” he said as he clipped Patrick’s glasses to the front of his own shirt.

Patrick was face to face with Pete’s dick and he did not like it at all. He tried to back up and scramble away from Pete but the brick wall directly behind him prevented him from doing so.

“Come on, don’t make this difficult. You wanna make me happy, don’t you? You wanna be in this band, right?” Pete said tauntingly 

“Yeah...I do…o-of course,” Patrick said uneasily

“Then you better get to work,” Pete said, grabbing Patrick by the head and jerking him closer to his already semi-hard dick

Patrick was just about to reluctantly take the head of Pete’s cock into his mouth when suddenly there was a loud shattering noise, and the next thing he knew, Pete was lying on the ground.

“Son of a bitch!” Patrick heard a shrill voice yell, and was surprised when he looked over to see Andy, madder than he’d ever seen him, glaring daggers at Pete

“Oh so that’s how it’s gonna be Pete?! This is the type of shit you’re gonna try to fucking pull?!” Andy yelled, going over to him and kicking him in the stomach “Get the fuck up,” Andy spat, pulling Pete up by his shirt.

Pete stumbled as he got up, and then quickly tucked himself back away in his pants. Patrick was still on his knees, watching the scene play out, still too shocked to move. Patrick noticed how Pete cowered and averted his eyes as Andy yelled at him, shoved him, and smacked him in the face a couple times. He thought it was weird that Pete, who was at least a year older and at least a couple inches taller than Andy, seemed to be so submissive towards him right now. _Scared_ even. 

Patrick’s train of thought was broken by a sickening crunching sound, followed by Pete’s screaming. Pete was lying on the ground yet again, holding his face; and even from where Patrick was, he could tell that Pete was bleeding. 

“Fuck you!” Pete yelled at Andy “Fuck you!” he yelled again, more anger in his voice this time “FUCK. YOU.” he yelled a final time, all signs of fear wiped clean from his face, and now replaced with an angry, enraged expression, storm clouds brewing in his eyes. 

“You fucking wish,” Andy said venomously, before spitting in Pete’s face and turning to go to Patrick. 

“You okay buddy?” Andy said to Patrick, surprisingly sweet and caring, nothing like he’d been before

“Y-y-yeah,” Patrick stuttered, nodding his head as he took Andy’s hands and let himself be pulled up off his knees.

“I’ve known Pete longer than you have; when he gets like this, he just needs to be put back in his place, that’s all,” Andy said, rubbing Patrick’s back

Patrick nodded, feeling like he was in a haze and not really sure if he was even paying attention to anything Andy was saying. “Uh...my...uh...glasses,” he finally said, gesturing towards his eyes and then back at Pete, who was now curled in a fetal position on the dirty concrete. 

“Oh!” Andy said simply, letting go of Patrick and walking back towards Pete. He snatched Patrick’s glasses off of Pete’s shirt and handed them to Patrick. “Thanks,” Patrick said, nodding and smiling while shakily putting his glasses back on his face.

“No problem man,” Andy said, smiling at Patrick “Hey, why don’t you go back to the van and get some rest after all this, huh?” he continued 

Patrick nodded again “Yeah, yeah...that sounds good,” 

Andy fished the van keys out of his pocket and placed them in Patrick’s hand “We’ll catch up with you later,” he said and Patrick nodded again before turning and walking back inside the building.

When he was gone, Andy turned back to Pete 

“Oh you’re gonna get it tonight, you fucking whore,” he said, voice just above a whisper. 

Pete just let out a strangled sob and curled in on himself even further.


	2. I Thought I Loved You, It Was Just How You Looked In The Light

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Say you like it,” Andy growled into Pete’s ear

He cried.

Pete cried and cried and cried and begged for mercy as Andy held his head down into the pillow and fucked him relentlessly.

“Shut the fuck up, you like it. If _this_ is anything to go by,” Andy said, reaching around to grab Pete’s hard-on and stroke it a few times.

Pete whimpered in pleasure as he felt Andy’s rough hand drag back and forth over his aching cock 

“Say you like it,” Andy growled into Pete’s ear

“I like it! I like it, I like it, I like it. I like it so much Andy, I like the way you feel inside of me, I love it,” Pete cried breathlessly, so close to cumming all over Andy’s hand and the cheap motel room sheets.

“Good boy,” Andy said, before giving one final thrust and cumming inside Pete’s ass. 

Pete groaned and came as well, shivering as he felt Andy’s cum inside of him. 

Andy pulled out and wiped his hand off, then pulled his underwear back on before wrapping his arms around Pete so that they were spooning “I love you baby,” he whispered into Pete’s ear. 

“I love you too,” Pete noncommittally mumbled. Did he love Andy? He supposed he did, to a certain degree at least. He was one of his best friends, and Pete couldn’t help but think he only loved him on a friend level, despite their…”romantic” relationship. Pete wasn’t even sure what this was; they weren’t boyfriends, and had never discussed being anything like that, despite Andy’s control over Pete. 

Pete didn’t even know if Andy loved him as a friend, or did he love him as a toy. A plaything. Pete wondered if Andy thought he owned Pete, if he thought his body was his, if he thought Pete was just something he could fuck and hit and then toss aside until he was needed again. Or if maybe underneath his hard exterior, he loved Pete as a friend too, as a person. 

Pete uneasily drifted off to sleep, listening to the soft sounds of Andy breathing behind him.

x

Practice the next day was awkward, with Patrick and Pete obviously ignoring each other. Even onstage they didn’t seem to have their usual chemistry. Pete didn’t go to lean up against Patrick and Patrick barely even looked Pete’s way. 

Joe caught on, because at the end of show he pulled Pete aside to question him.

“So, you wanna tell me what the hell is going on with you and Patrick?” Joe asked once he and Pete were out of the crowded club

“What are you talkin’ about dude? We’re fine,” Pete replied with a shrug

Joe scoffed “Really? You’re gonna try to act like everybody can’t obviously tell that you and Patrick are acting icy as fuck towards each other? It’s like you’re giving each other the silent treatment or something! You two barely even looked in each other’s direction today! You didn’t even as so much give him a tap on the shoulder onstage, so I _know_ that something is wrong because usually you’re all over the poor kid,”

Pete sighed and rolled his eyes “It’s nothing,” he grumbled, sticking his hands into his pockets

“What? Did you two have a fight or something?” Joe pressed

“Nah man, we’re just not getting along right now. It’ll be fine though,” Pete said, looking at Joe and hoping he’d be satisfied with that answer.

“It better be, because we can’t have our frontman and our lyricist fighting, you know that right?” Joe said, angrily but with a hint of concern in his voice

“I know! We’re not fucking fighting, we just weren’t feeling it today, okay?!” Pete shouted, before shoving Joe out of the way and making his way back into the venue. 

“Patrick! Patrick!” Pete shouted over the music when he got back inside. He pushed past people and scanned the room for the blonde singer.

“Patrick! Patrick! Come here,” he called when he spotted him, talking to some kid. Patrick looked over at Pete hesitantly before waving the kid off and making his way towards him.

“Uh,” Patrick said awkwardly

“Listen, man, I’m sorry about yesterday. That was...a mistake,” Pete started

“Yeah…” Patrick mumbled, looking down and pushing his glasses back up his nose

“I know it’s probably weird for you or whatever, but we gotta try to at least act like things are normal in front of the guys. Joe is already worried about us and it’s been under 24 hours,” Pete said

Patrick looked up at Pete then, anger flashing across his face “Exactly Pete, that means it’s also been a little over 24 hours since you tried to fucking _rape_ me in an alley!” 

Pete waved his hands at Patrick, moving towards him and trying to shush him “Don’t go fucking yelling that out man!” 

Patrick shoved Pete back “What happened man? I mean, I know you liked to be all up on me onstage and kiss and hug me but I thought that was just you being you; I didn’t think you actually wanted to stick your dick down my throat!”

“That _is_ just me being me, Patrick!” Pete said desperately, wanting Patrick to calm down and not make a scene. 

“You’re 5 years older than me, I’m underage!” Patrick said, voice getting higher 

Pete grumbled angrily and grabbed Patrick by the arm, dragging him off towards the bathrooms. He shoved Patrick in and looked around quickly to make sure they were alone before raising his voice. 

“Are you trying to ruin us?! Shouting about rape and being underage in the middle of a club we just played?! Calm the fuck down!” 

Patrick just crossed his arms and looked at Pete defiantly 

Pete was overcome with anger and in the heat of the moment, he did what Andy had done to him so many times before when he was angry.

He slapped Patrick across the face.

Pete slapped him so hard that he stumbled to the side and nearly fell over. 

Pete could see the tears welling up in Patrick’s eyes as he grabbed him by the shirt collar and pressed him into the wall.

“Don’t you fucking give me that attitude, Patrick. I’m the one who made the choice to have you in this fucking band and I can easily make the choice to kick your goddamn ass out, no matter how talented you might be. So we’re just gonna pretend like nothing happened last night, and we’re gonna go back to being best fucking friends so that people don’t start getting fucking suspicious, okay? Do you have that in your fucking pea brain?” Pete snarled into Patrick’s face, voice dropping into a whisper as he went on.

Patrick nodded, hot tears streaming down his face now. Pete felt a pang of sympathy in his heart because of how goddamn sad and innocent Patrick looked. But then he realized how _sad and innocent_ Patrick looked and it went straight to his dick. Pete ground up against Patrick and moaned slightly before letting go of his shirt collar and walking out of the bathrooms, leaving Patrick a crying mess.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for taking so long to update.


	3. It's All A Game Of This Or That

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In the van, at night, when one of the others was driving and the other was sleeping, Pete would sidle up next to Patrick under his sleeping bag and do whatever he wanted with him.

After the _incident_ , Pete and Patrick went back to being “best-friends forever” and “inseparable” and having “amazing chemistry”. While they did truly have those things in reality, there was always that underlying tension between them. Every now and then Patrick would catch Pete staring at him with a predatory look in his eye and that made him just that much more uncomfortable around Pete. Patrick made a silent agreement with himself that he’d avoid being alone with Pete under any circumstances. Pete wouldn’t try anything in the presence of others, right?

Wrong.

In the van, at night, when one of the others was driving and the other was sleeping, Pete would sidle up next to Patrick under his sleeping bag and do whatever he wanted with him. Sometimes Pete would just run his hand up and down Patrick’s chest and whisper how amazing he was, other times he’d press himself into Patrick’s back and rock back and forth, getting off and whispering about all the dirty things he’d do to Patrick.

Tonight was one of those nights. When Pete was sure that Joe was sitting in the front seat, headphones in and thoroughly focused on the road, and that Andy had been asleep for at least a few hours, he ever so carefully took his place next to Patrick. 

“Roll on your side, baby,” Pete said as he placed a hand on Patrick’s chest. Patrick begrudgingly rolled over, knowing the whole routine. Pete nestled up behind him, his breath hot on his neck. 

“You know how bad I wanna fuck you? I guess it’s no secret now though, ha,” Pete said, his voice slipping from dark and predatory to something sad and guarded for a second.

Patrick just closed his eyes and hoped that Pete would get it over with as soon as possible. 

“I wanna pin you down and fuck your face,” Pete started “You’d look so good like that, with those pretty pink lips of yours wrapped around my cock,”. To accentuate his sentence, Pete ran his finger along Patrick’s bottom lip. Before long, Pete was trying to ease his fingers into Patrick’s mouth, and Patrick let him, because he was afraid that if he didn’t he would lose this gig and he _really_ wanted this.

“I wanna choke you with my dick and hear you gag as I ride your face. I wanna cum down your throat and see it leak out the sides of your mouth,” Pete whispered breathily, pressing his erection into Patrick’s back.

Patrick squeezed his eyes shut and tried not to imagine that scene playing out. Pete removed his fingers from Patrick’s mouth and began to jack himself off, and Patrick was more than relieved to have the digits out of his mouth. Pete putting anything anywhere in him made him feel dirty and used.

“Have you ever been fucked by a dude, Patrick?” Pete asked, and Patrick shook his head slowly in response.

Pete laughed low in his throat “Mmm, you’re just a blushing virgin aren’t you? I bet you haven’t even fucked a girl yet,” he said as he picked up pace, Patrick could tell that he was probably close to finishing by now.

“Well let me tell you something...” Pete grunted, leaning his sweaty torso into Patrick, nearly crushing him.

“I’d _love_ to be your first, Patrick Stump,” 

And with that, Pete came, breathing heavily behind Patrick and whispering “fuck, fuck, fuck,” in some sort of demented mantra. Pete brought his cum covered hand up to Patrick’s face and Patrick cringed, trying to move away from the gross hand.

“Lick it up, Rickster,” Pete said, and Patrick could just hear the grin in his voice. 

Patrick scrunched his face up before leaning in and beginning to lick Pete’s hand clean. When he was done, Pete rolled him over and planted a sloppy, wet, kiss on his mouth before rolling back over to his own side of the van.

Patrick had never felt more used and disgusted in himself than he had in that moment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it took so long to update guys :/ But to make up for it, I'm posting 2 chapters today! A new character is introduced in the next chapter ;) Comments, creative criticism, kudos, etc are always welcome :)


	4. I Love You In The Same Way, There's A Chapel In A Hospital

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “It’s true bro, your band is fuckin’ shiiiiiiiiiiiit,”

Gabe Saporta was tall, attractive, charming, and a _total fucking douchebag_. 

When Pete had first seen him, he’d been drawn in by Gabe’s tanned skin, slender figure, dark eyes, and impressive stature. As Pete watched him interact with those around him, he could tell that Gabe had quite the effect on the ladies (and guys). He seemed like the type of guy that Pete could be good friends with. And by ‘be good friends with’ he meant ‘get fucking smashed with and drag into a dirty bathroom and get fucked up against a wall by’. 

Pete was reconsidering that now. 

“It’s true bro, your band is fuckin’ shiiiiiiiiiiiit,” Gabe laughed as he took a drag off his cigarette. 

“Well your band is fuckin’ shit too then. Fuckin’ Midtown? Get that shit out of my face,” Pete snapped back, only for Gabe to just laugh and exhale smoke into his face.

“Well, we all got our own opinions man, y’know?” 

Pete screwed his face up at Gabe and looked away from him for a moment, scanning the bar for any familiar faces. Pete silently thanked God that Andy tended to stay as far as he could away from bars, because he knew that if Andy was here he’d be all up on his case.

He turned back to Gabe, who was watching him with an amused expression. 

“What?” he asked sourly

“You’re so short,” Gabe said 

“Wow thanks, you must be a real hit with the ladies with those type of compliments,” Pete said sarcastically

“You didn’t let me finish, mijo,” Gabe said, leaning against the bar counter and blowing smoke out of his nostrils. 

“Oh, do finish,” 

“I was going to say, mijo, that you are short...” Gabe said, taking a pause to take a puff on his cigarette, causing Pete to roll his eyes.

“...and _cute_ ,” Gabe finished, leaning in more to stare into Pete’s eyes with a sultry look. And _yeah, wow,_ this guy definitely knew how to lure someone in because now all Pete could think about was how Gabe’s dick would feel in his ass. 

“Well,” Pete started “You’re tall...” he stopped to take a drink of his beer, mocking Gabe’s previous actions

“...and a fucking asshole,” Pete finished, giving Gabe a tight, mocking smile before turning and walking away from the bar, making sure to walk confidently and sway his hips so Gabe knew just what he was missing out on by insulting his band like that. Gabe may have been hot as all hell, but Pete wasn’t gonna just let someone who hated the thing he’s worked harder on than he has on anything else in his life fuck him.

“Nos veremos de nuevo algún día, y entonces usted será el mío, confía en mí mijo!” Gabe called after him, and Pete’ll be damned if he knew what the fuck that meant, but Pete decided it probably wasn’t important since Gabe didn’t care enough to shout it in English. 

When Pete made his way back to the hotel, Andy was waiting there, like always. The second he walked in the door and closed it, Andy was on him, smashing his hand into the door above Pete’s head 

“Where have you been?” Andy demanded

Pete looked at him disgustedly “Who gives a fuck,” 

Andy sneered at him “I smell that fucking alcohol on your breath. Have you been out drinking again? Did you go to a bar and get fucking wasted? Leaving me here until nearly 3 in the fucking morning wondering where the fuck you went? Did you fuck another dude or something? Are you cheating on me?! Answer me!” Andy yelled, slamming his hand down on the door and causing Pete to flinch.

“Where I go isn’t any of your fucking business, you fucking control freak,” Pete said, the alcohol and drugs in his system causing him to be a little more testy with Andy than he should’ve been.

“Yes it is!” Andy yelled, getting spit on Pete’s face

“Fine, you wanna know what I did? You wanna know?” Pete said venomously “I went to a bar and I drank and I got high and I met a fucking hot guy who I _could’ve_ let fuck me raw in a dirty bathroom stall but I _didn’t_. And even if I had fucked him, it’d still be none of your fucking business, because we’re not together, we never have been, and I hope to fucking God that we never will be!” Pete continued, his voice raising with each word. It felt so, so good to finally get some of what he’d been feeling out. He’s always been weary of showing his real emotions to Andy out of fear of what could happen, but tonight he was feeling fucking _invincible_.

Pete expected Andy to yell back or hit him or something of the like, but he just stepped back and eyed Pete for a moment before chuckling to himself. 

“You’re gonna regret this when you’re sober,” he said, before turning on his heel and leaving Pete with a sinking feeling.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading guys!!


	5. Better Off Against, Or Worse For Wear

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _‘I can’t do it, I can’t do it, I can’t do it’_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Note: this chapter is set one day after the previous chapter.

A sob wretched itself out of Pete, he was shaking and screaming and crying and Patrick didn’t have the slightest idea on how to handle him. When Pete came knocking on his hotel door, Patrick had figured that Pete was just upping the ante when it came to assaulting Patrick. He figured Pete had finally gotten tired of just dry humping him and whispering dirty things into his ear and was finally ready to fuck him.

He had _definitely_ not expected for Pete to basically fall into the room and then fling himself on the floor crying. Pete wouldn’t elaborate on what had happened or why he was like this, he just kept repeating _‘I can’t do it, I can’t do it, I can’t do it’_.

“Can’t do what Pete? What can’t you do?” Patrick asked, holding Pete in his arms as Pete clung onto him like it was the last time they’d ever see each other.

“I can’t do it! I can’t do it anymore, I can’t I can’t I can’t!” Pete wailed as he coughed and choked and his entire body shook

“Pete you’re scaring me, what’s wrong? What happened?” Patrick pleaded. For everything Pete had done to him recently, it still scared the shit out of him to see his best friend breaking down this much. Pete had always been an emotional guy with quite the list of problems, but Patrick had never seen him like _this_. Patrick figured that they’d all come to a head now and that Pete was probably having some sort of panic attack or nervous breakdown.

“I can’t do it Patrick! I can’t! Oh god oh god oh god,” Pete said, looking up into Patrick’s eyes with his own eyes, full of tears and pain. Pete reached up to touch Patrick’s face but his hand was shaking so violently that he was unable to, and the sight of it only pushed him further over the edge.

Pete was _losing_ it now. He was screaming at the top of his lungs while sobbing and shaking and convulsing. He’d fallen out of Patrick’s lap and was now lying on the hotel room floor looking as if he was recreating a scene from the Exorcism or something. Patrick begged him to calm down, told him that people would hear, but Pete was so far gone that it was like he didn’t even notice Patrick.

Finally Patrick made a decision on what he had to do. This was too far out of his hands and Pete needed people who could actually help him. Patrick picked up the phone and dialed 911.

“911, what’s your emergency?”

“Uh yeah, hi. My friend is having, like, a _massive_ panic attack or mental breakdown or something and I’m really really worried,”

“Okay sir. Now, is your friend currently a threat to himself or anyone else?” the woman on the other end asked

Patrick looked back at Pete who hadn’t calmed down at all, and if anything had gotten even _more_ hysterical. “I think...he’s a threat to himself, like he’s in really really bad shape,” 

“Okay. Is your friend physically hurt in any way? Is there any external bleeding or wounds that you can see?” was the next question.  
“Uh, no, no there’s no bleeding that I can see...” Patrick said, walking closer to Pete to take a better look. Although now that Patrick focused more on Pete’s movements rather than his screaming, he could see that Pete was probably in some form of physical pain as well. Pete’s screaming seemed to be less severe when he wasn’t on his back, and when he would roll onto his back he made this horrible choking-gagging noise.

“...but I think there’s definitely something wrong with his back maybe? The screaming gets worse when he rolls over onto his back,” Patrick continued 

“Okay, sir. We’re sending an ambulance and a team of paramedics out right now, okay? It’s very important that you stay calm during this time. Can you do that for me sir?” the woman asked 

Patrick nodded even though he knew she couldn’t see him and said “Yeah, yeah I can do that,” 

“Okay good, do you need me to stay on the line with you until help gets there, or will you be okay by yourself?”

 

“I...I’m good by myself, thank you,”

 

“Okay sir, the ambulance will be there very shortly, don’t worry,”

 

“Okay, thank you,”

 

“Goodbye, sir”

 

“Bye,”

 

And with that, Patrick hung up the phone and sat on the bed, awaiting the arrival of help and wondering just what the _**fuck**_ had happened to trigger Pete this badly.


	6. Hallelujah, Hallelujah

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pete weakly looked to the side and the image of his mother came into focus “Mom?” he asked, voice sounding hoarse and weak.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This isn't my best chapter :/ I promise the next chapters will be better.

Pete woke up to a blinding white light and immediately thought _‘Well shit, it’s finally happened, I’ve finally died’_ . That thought was quickly dashed as he heard machinery beeps and someone that sounded suspiciously like his mom shouting his name 

“Peter?! Peter?! Sweetie are you awake? Is it you? Can you hear me?” 

Pete weakly looked to the side and the image of his mother came into focus “Mom?” he asked, voice sounding hoarse and weak.

“Oh, Peter honey thank goodness!” his mom cried as she held his hand

“Yeah...yeah mom, it’s me...I’m okay,” Pete said, nodding his head and trying to smile

“I’m gonna get the doctor, you just stay awake, alright?” she said tearfully before releasing his hand and rushing out of the room.

When she was gone, Pete had the chance to examine his surroundings. It was a typical hospital room, with a curtain divider and a few chairs next to the bed and a big window in the wall and a heart monitor. Pete sighed and rubbed his head, trying to remember what exactly had put him here. He vaguely remembers a particularly violent argument with Andy and coming into Patrick’s hotel room afterwards and crying, but that was the extent of his memory about this whole thing.

The doctor came in just then, so he didn’t have anymore time to think.

“Mr. Wentz, glad to see you up and conscious finally. How do you feel?” the Doctor, a man with greying hair, asked.

Pete shrugged and fiddled with the tubes sticking out of him, not really wanting to talk. In all honesty, he was feeling how he’d felt many times before. Just plain sad. Like he had a dark cloud hanging over him and he couldn’t get rid of it. He didn’t want to be here but he didn’t wanna move and he didn’t wanna talk to this doctor but he didn’t really wanna talk to anyone else either. It felt like he was there, but he wasn’t really there.

“Peter, tell the doctor how you feel so he can help you,” his mom demanded 

Pete just shrugged again “I don’t know,” he said

Pete’s mom sighed and his doctor just nodded his head. “It’s understandable that you wouldn’t feel like talking after what happened to you,”

Pete looked up at the doctor suddenly, eyes wide “What happened to me?”

The doctor looked at him curiously “What do you remember?” 

Pete shrugged “I remember...fighting with one of my bandmates. He hit me a couple times or something...and then...I went to my other bandmate’s room and cried for a while and now....I’m here,” 

“Oh god! He doesn’t remember!” his mom wailed, crying again

“Remember what?” Pete asked, voice raising. _What was it that he wasn’t remembering?? What else had happened??_

“Mr. Wentz, this may be hard for you to hear, but you were raped. And then you experienced a massive mental break. Basically, it was like you were trying to retreat into your own body and block everything else out. We see things like this with trauma victims, some of them even develop multiple personalities because they can’t handle what has happened to them or what they’ve seen. But from what we can tell, you were lucky enough that it didn’t get that far,” his doctor explained

Pete nodded slowly, taking it all in “What...what stopped me from...cracking or whatever?” he finally said

His doctor simply shrugged “We don’t know, when we brought you in you couldn’t be calmed down, we had to strap you to the bed and we were about to sedate you when you just...stopped. Went completely still. We’d feared that that was the crack finally happening, but when you woke up today and recognized your mother, we found that you were just fine,”

Pete nodded again, leaning back to lie down again “Okay,” he said, shutting his eyes and slipping into blackness once again.


End file.
